Which wolf are you feeding?
I recently read about a story where an elderly woman is asked how she became so wise, respected, and loved. She replies: “I know that there are two wolves in my heart: a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything depends on which one I feed each day.”
We all have the capacity for love, compassion, and generosity, but we also have the potential for hate, selfishness, and malice. As a human, we’re bound to feel both wolves to varying levels, but thankfully we have some control in the matter of which we feel more.
This concept may seem simple, but can be difficult to fully grasp.
The wolf of hate has actually helped us survive as a species. Our DNA is partially wired to “other” those who are different than us-think back to our ancestors making sure their tribe lived-but thanks to our evolved brains and accompanying wisdom, we know that we can nurture the wolf of love with practice and see the wolf of hate without as much fear and anger. The wolf of hate has some usefulness, such as protecting us in moments of danger, but ultimately should be used sparingly, when needed.
We can use our executive functioning skills to regulate negative emotions, especially in regard to our feelings about people who are different than us.
We need not love strangers as we love our family, but we can at least have some baseline compassion for others. If one has the means, then generosity over selfishness can prevail. Compassion over judgment can lead the way.
This is not easy and I know I need to work hard at it, but with practice we can start to notice important differences.
Find that wolf of love and feed it for yourself and others.
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