2022 Highlights

Happy New Year! I like to write out highlights at the conclusion of each calendar year. I enjoy this tradition and appreciate taking the time to remember many positive, joyful, and meaningful events. Crazy enough, these posts feel like they are coming around faster after each trip around the sun. I wish anyone reading this health, happiness, and well-being in 2023.

Without further ado, here are my 2022 highlights:

-Our health and the health of our family, extended family, and friends

-Veronica and I celebrating our two year wedding anniversary

-Spending the major holidays with both my family and Veronica’s family

-Time cuddled up with our sweet doggo, Jovi, or seeing her happy on walks or with other people/dogs

-A wonderful trip with Veronica to Berlin for my cousin’s wedding, then spending time in England with family, mostly with my Grandma in the same home my Mom grew up in

-A super fun trip to Napa Valley with Veronica for our friend Ethan’s wedding, where we also got to celebrate a birthday with another friend, Jonah

-A fun getaway with Veronica to the Pocono’s where we went snowtubing, out for a long hike on part of the Appalachian Trail, bowling for the first time as a couple (10 years in the making lol), and more

-Being asked to be one of the groomsmen in my friend Vince’s wedding

-Rudy’s bachelor party weekend down in the Pocono’s with the other groomsmen, where Jamie’s selection of “Natty Daddy” was not a hit. But everything else was!

-A healthy and consistent year of running, which included a few wins at road 5ks, a sub-18 minute 5k for the first time in years, a PR at the Broad Street 10 miler, and lots of enjoyable runs

-Coaching the Bristol high school track team and cross country team, helping a number of athletes PR and seeing three boys and one girl qualify for the state meet in XC

-Starting a new job working with college students with ASD

-Veronica and I moved into a new house back in May right down the street, which is actually the same house where Veronica spent a large chunk of her childhood

-A fun night out in Media with Nick, Jonah, and Lena

-Having friends over to visit our new place, both mine and Veronica’s

-Going out and about with Bill, Ryan, and Jenna

-Dylan’s wedding celebration where we saw a lot of Ursinus friends

-Slade and Sam’s wedding with even more Ursinus people

-Going to a couple of baptism’s for Veronica’s close friends

-The Marcus Mumford concert at the Met

-Going to the Phillies and Union with Veronica and friends

-Time with Joshua (10)

-Reading some great books and listening to some insightful podcasts

-Any moment where I was laughing heartily

Reminder of “Momento Mori”

Hearing or reading “remember that you must die,” probably sounds morbid and fear-mongering, but “Momento Mori,” which has roots in Ancient Rome and with the Stoics, serves to remind us that none of us are immortal and we do not know for sure when our time will come to an end.

This makes many of us uncomfortable, with good reason, but also offers the opportunity to ensure we are making use of our time while here on Earth. We are fortunate that we do not have to worry about being eaten by a predator on any given day, as some of our ancestors had to do, but that does not mean we are invincible in young age.

Reflecting on our impermanence can help guide our actions and the direction we take in life.

Knowing we won’t be around forever does not mean we partake in risky behavior every day, but there’s a middle ground we can find. One where we stay disciplined, but also take calculated risks at times or do something different than normal because we recognize our bodies do not survive forever.

Marcus Aurelius, one of the most well-known Stoics, writes in Meditations, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

While I do not want to think about mortality all the time, taking time to contemplate this fact on occasion can motivate me to do what matters most.

Training Block Coming To An End

My relationship with running continues to evolve. At this point, I would still run regularly without racing for my own enjoyment and health. However, I am still somewhat competitive-more so against myself than others-and like the idea of trying to maximize my potential.

I am very grateful for my time running in college. Most importantly, I made life-long friends and enjoyed getting to go to practices and races with them on a daily basis. I also learned so much about running, got to compete collegiately as a student-athlete, and gained a desire to continue running/exercising after college.

With that being said, I never ran as fast as I think I could have run. I am fairly content, but while I am still physically and mentally able I would like to get after things. In college I had the ability to train better, specifically with more mileage on a consistent basis. I do not think I will ever beat my 1500m PR (4:17) unless I get in monster shape, and I am not interested in going after my 800m PR (2:06), but from the full mile (4:50) and up I think I have room for improvement.

Again, I am happy enough to run without racing, but there’s still some fire in my belly. I notice when I am coaching runners as well that I want to see them succeed and get the best out of themselves.

Tomorrow I race a Turkey Trot 5k, which will be the end of my unofficial training block. I have run consistently since the end of June and I am thankful I enjoyed a healthy and fulfilling stretch of training. I plan to take a week off after the race tomorrow and then build a strong base in the winter.

Here are the highlights from this training block:

• Stayed healthy without even a minor knock that kept me from training
• Ran 14 straight weeks over 30 miles– probably a personal record for consistency
• Won three straight road 5k races
• Broke 18 minutes for the 5k at a road race for the first time in a long time!
• Had a blast coaching runners on the local high school team and running with them

Overall, I am enjoying running and hope to stay healthy and competitive moving forward.

Thinking about changes I can make in training, here are a few things I plan to incorporate more of:

• A long run every week or two weeks at a moderate effort
• Strong strides once or twice a week
• More LT work (the pace you can hold for about an hour), including 1K and mile repeats
• Strength work- lifting once a week and doing injury prevention
• Faster intervals as the season progresses

To running! And Happy Thanksgiving!

Take Note of What Brings You Energy

Unless you are like my wife, who can drink coffee at night and often avoid sleep disturbance, most of us drink coffee during the day to provide energy and pleasure. I love a hot cup in the morning to get the day going.

Besides coffee and other substances (some you probably should not take), there are natural ways to get energy. This can look different between individuals and groups, but knowing what gives us energy can be useful and worth investing more time into, despite our busy lives. Similar to finding a flow state, doing things that give us energy helps us “feel alive” and more in-tune with our lives.

While going out drinking with friends may give you a lot of energy, that is something you probably want to do occasionally, not all the time. We are trying to think of things that are generally healthy and possible to do on a regular basis.

For example, what I’ve noticed I gain energy from (typically, not every time):

• Intellectual or deep conversations with Veronica and/or friends

• Going somewhere with Veronica where it is just the two of us with limited phone activity

• Seeing my family and chatting over a meal

• Going for a walk with our doggo, Jovi (great way to start early mornings out of bed)

• Reading a book I’m interested in and want to keep reading

• Laughing

• Simple movements of the body

• Writing about topics related to well-being

• Talking to a friend I have not spoken to in a while

• Going out to eat or just spending time with friends (something we do less as we get older)

Why do I think this list is important for me to keep in mind?

Because we all tend to find ourselves going through the motions at times, most likely when we are tired and have a lot going on in our lives, personally and professionally. Sometimes just lounging about and relaxing is exactly what we need, but if we find we feel like we are wasting time by doing that too often, then being intentional and taking action to do something that provides energy may be the best antidote.

The Two Wolves Within Us

Which wolf are you feeding?

I recently read about a story where an elderly woman is asked how she became so wise, respected, and loved. She replies: “I know that there are two wolves in my heart: a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything depends on which one I feed each day.”

We all have the capacity for love, compassion, and generosity, but we also have the potential for hate, selfishness, and malice. As a human, we’re bound to feel both wolves to varying levels, but thankfully we have some control in the matter of which we feel more.

This concept may seem simple, but can be difficult to fully grasp.

The wolf of hate has actually helped us survive as a species. Our DNA is partially wired to “other” those who are different than us-think back to our ancestors making sure their tribe lived-but thanks to our evolved brains and accompanying wisdom, we know that we can nurture the wolf of love with practice and see the wolf of hate without as much fear and anger. The wolf of hate has some usefulness, such as protecting us in moments of danger, but ultimately should be used sparingly, when needed.

We can use our executive functioning skills to regulate negative emotions, especially in regard to our feelings about people who are different than us.

We need not love strangers as we love our family, but we can at least have some baseline compassion for others. If one has the means, then generosity over selfishness can prevail. Compassion over judgment can lead the way.

This is not easy and I know I need to work hard at it, but with practice we can start to notice important differences.

Find that wolf of love and feed it for yourself and others.

The Importance of Staying Grounded

I recently finished reading Brad Stulberg’s The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path To Success That Feeds-Not Crushes-Your Soul. I have a healthy skepticism of self-help literature nowadays, but I heard Stulberg speak on a podcast before purchasing the book and his message resonated with me.

He makes the argument that conventional success in our society, such as money, fame, relevance, and followers on social media, are not all that people hype them up to be. While we should strive to accomplish things, more of our time and energy ought to go into focusing on our internal foundation-the ground so to speak-so that we push to reach great heights from a more solid place within us. With this approach, we will probably feel better, perform better, love better, and live a fuller life.

Stulberg offers six principles of groundedness, which are acceptance, being present, patience, vulnerability, deep community, and movement.

I enjoyed his breakdown of each principle, but mostly appreciated his writing style as he blends scientific research with ancient wisdom. He cites plenty of research studies, but also pulls out philosophical ideas from figures such as the Buddha. There is plenty of overlap between science and wisdom that help point us toward improving our lives.

Returning to my skepticism of self-help books, I do not appreciate when self-help is made to seem simple and purely for the sake of pursuing pleasure. I understand that how one feels their best is subjective, but if one takes the approach that they only need to focus on eating ice cream to feel better or they can get a massage at the spa once a week to release all their stress, I would argue that is not true self-care.

Self-care takes hard work and a mix of discipline and compassion. Eating healthy on a regular basis, exercising daily, spending time with loved ones, meditating or praying, self-reflecting in some way such as journaling, all of these take time and effort.

I am not arguing that someone should be like a robot, but if you can create healthy habits, without putting too much pressure or stress on yourself to improve, then chances are that life will be fuller.

Stulberg came up with his book idea after a hike where he recognized the tree is grounded in its many roots. We can all have a stronger foundation if we take time to nurture our inner world, ultimately helping the world around us as well.

Attitude of Gratitude

The slogan “attitude of gratitude” may sound cheesy and silly to you, but there is a lot of truth to be found here.

I’ve been having a difficult time lately accepting some things, from work frustration to knee pain that’s keeping me from running, one of my favorite things to do. I feel challenged right now and I am noticing a lot more anxiety and stress. Challenges, though, offer the opportunity to step up, persevere, and produce positive change.

But a lot of anxiety and stress is ultimately unnecessary suffering, as Buddhists would point out.

Trying to cultivate more gratitude for what we have in our lives can be massively beneficial, for anyone. Here is a list of some things I am grateful for today and pretty much every day:

• God
• Veronica, my lovely wife
• Family
• Friends
• Jovi, our doggo
• Community
• Health
• Laughter
• Delicious food
• Movement
• Work
• Shelter
• Ethics
• Science
• Writing
• Reading
• Our precious human birth

Actively thinking of these things and actually writing them down can be so helpful. Hope you feel grateful!

Living With Miss Jovi, Our Doggo

Below, you will see me with Miss Jovi, a Catahoula Leopard Dog mixed with an Australian Shepherd. Adopted close to 6 months ago at this point, she is about one and half years old. She hails from a shelter down in Alabama that was overcrowded, but other than that, we don’t know too much about her history.

Neither my wife nor I had a dog growing up, so this entire experience is totally new for us.

At first, Jovi was very fearful of a lot of things, to the point where she did not even want to go in our backyard the first few days. This changed quickly as she loves being outside, although the recent humidity seems to affect her as she shows a desire to come back inside quickly to escape the heat.

I think splitting up the best things about Jovi and what we want to work on into lists will be helpful for understanding this beautiful doggo.

Best things about Jovi:

• Jovi is an absolute sweetheart with basically every person she meets, licking you and trying to get lots of love and affection. Her tail wags and butt wiggles when approaching someone, which is quite cute
• She has a mild temperament in the house and offers little behavioral concerns there
• Other than going to the bathroom a couple times in the house the first day, she always goes outside
• She can be a great cuddle bug
• She’ll back into you at times and expect pets on the neck/head or belly rubs, showing she loves you
• When in the mood, she loves to play, especially tug of war and chase the ball
• She can sleep a lot, so leaving her home for periods of time has worked okay so far
• She’s a real cutie sometimes, especially when she stares deep into your eyes

Things to work on:

• Her biggest difficulty is that she seems fearful of some dogs, resulting in reactivity, meaning she will bark, growl, and lunge toward another dog sometimes when we are walking. Being new to dog owning, this has been stressful at times as we continue to work on reducing her reactivity. We’ve worked with a trainer and learned some different tips. Recently she had a play date with 2 dogs that went really well! We think she likes being in smaller groups, rather than having a lot of people or dogs around all at once
• Consistent eating- she loves being fed from the table so we need to reduce that (I’m guilty). Sometimes she doesn’t want to eat her breakfast or dinner, so we get concerned she’s not eating enough to fill her up
• Less crying to wake us up before 6 am, even thought it’s kind of funny

Ultimately, I think having Jovi has been meaningful and fun, but also quite stressful at times. We walk her 2-3 times a day, make sure she gets out often, and more. Being a dog owner is not a responsibility to take lightly. That may not seem like a lot, but when you both work and have other responsibilities the balancing game becomes a bit more challenging. My wife is better at taking things in stride and not worrying too much, but I am definitely more anxious-prone. I feel guilty leaving her alone for too long, so when we are both gone during the day we’ll have someone come to let her out and play with her. We want to walk her longer, and sometimes do, but seeing too many dogs gets her stressed. Having her is really great practice for letting go of anxiety and enjoying the present with her.

Veronica told me she has a motto where she says to herself “love her,” meaning Jovi. Whether she does something sweet or naughty, Vron tries to love her. I really like that motto, and plan to use it myself.

Let’s Talk Happiness

We all know what happiness means, although some people would differentiate between true happiness and fleeting pleasures, such as being married to your best friend versus eating your favorite ice cream. But we can all agree on the basic idea that happiness involves feelings of joy, delight, glee, contentment, etc.

I recently read The Book of Joy, authored by the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams. Basically, the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop met for close to a week where they discussed various topics related to joy, including the nature of joy, the obstacles to it, and what they termed the eight pillars of joy. Abrams, a journalist and author, participated in these conversations and crafted what was discussed into this book.

I would definitely recommend reading the book as the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop each have amazing stories from their past and they are full of wisdom that can be applied to anyone’s life.

A photo of the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop showing off some moves.

I took a lot from the book, but one thing that Abrams pointed out was a study on happiness conducted by the psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, who suggests that about half of our happiness is determined by factors like genes and temperament, so things mostly out of our control, while the other half is determined by a combination of our circumstances, which we have limited control over, and then our attitudes and actions, over which we exert much control.

Lyubomirsky pointed out three main factors that can have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness. The three are:

1. Our ability to reframe our situation more positively
2. Our ability to experience gratitude
3. Our choice to be kind and generous

I really like these three factors because they are easy to understand, practical, and effective when you try them yourself. Now, keep in mind this does not mean you should just feel happy when something bad or tragic happens. However, concerning most situations in life, we can reframe our perspective in a more positive manner, keep in mind all that we have to be grateful for, and remain kind and generous toward others, even when things get tough.

Trying Out a New Eating Schedule

I came across an eating schedule, I guess you can call it a diet but that comes with negative connotations sometimes, that a former Olympic Gold Medalist followed. Billy Mills won the 10k on the track at the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, which was a great upset at the time.

I’m sure his training would be interesting to analyze, but I saw that he followed a diet that included a 4 day cycle. He had Native American blood and I believe this diet originated from his ancestral tribe.

The cycle included food from the air (birds), the land (mostly red meat), the sea (fish), and the earth (vegetarian).

Over the last six to seven years since my sophomore year of college, I have cycled through phases as a vegetarian, but I was never very consistent. Recently, I have been eating meat fairly regularly and I try to eat a good amount of fish.

My primary reason for abstaining from meat at times is the ethical implications. A lot of meat in the United States comes from factory farms where animals are horribly mistreated in many ways.

However, you can try to be intentional about where you get meat products, and as an athlete who stills runs a lot I don’t feel that I adequately meet all my nutritional needs as a vegetarian. There are many out there who do, but they are better equipped with resources and dedicated to following their plan. I want to eat mostly vegetarian to still feel like I’m thinking with an ethical perspective, only eating meat at dinner and not in crazy large portions.

Now, how do I think this diet will go?

I’m excited to see if I notice any physical and/or mental differences following this schedule. Besides the main dish each night, I also hope to be consistent with fruit and vegetable intake each day.

I don’t think anyone would refute that diet is a huge part of our health. Unfortunately, in our modern society eating a healthy diet has become more and more difficult. Look at our concerning obesity numbers below:

The State of Obesity 2020: Better Policies for a Healthier America

Eating healthy takes work, as most things in life do. My wife and I are excited to try this out together!